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Fun fact: 33.5% of ‘Fun Facts’ are in fact not true, which means there is about a 33.5% chance this is not true, unless of course this is not true.

Go ahead, take a few seconds to absorb that.

Another Fun Fact: 74.3% of ‘Fun Facts’ are really not that funny, which means there is about a 74.3% chance this is not funny, unless of course this is not true, of which the chance is 33.5%.

To sum up: you never know for sure if you’re ‘truly funny’, even though there are ‘fun facts’. Hence the term ‘fun fact’ is an outrageous lie.

Rain Man and I agree: I should do stand-up.

Pictured: Rain Man's favorite stand-up comedian performing.

Pictured: Rain Man’s favorite stand-up comedian performing.

And speaking of fun facts that aren’t that funny, did you know the vibrator was originally conceived as a medical device?

Or maybe that is kind of funny.

Back in the old days, up until the 20th century, women were frequently diagnosed with a condition known as ‘hysteria’.

In modern times hysteria relates to stuff like depression, anxiety and asking a guy Do I look fat in this? and getting an answer.

Pictured: Hysteria.

Pictured: Women who were told they look ‘different’.

Through a series of events best left to your imagination, doctors discovered stimulating a woman’s genitals relieved the symptoms of this supposed disease.

Masturbation was a medical practice in Victorian England. Women would go to the doctor, undo their pants, spread their legs and Rain Man and I agree: if you don’t get the picture by now, there’s a 98.6% chance you are Rain Man.

Mind you, there was nothing erotic about it. Perhaps women felt relieved afterward, but it was not considered an act of sex. It wasn’t even considered masturbation, even though it reads like the script of an adult movie.

In fact, doctors grew tired of stimulating vaginas all the time. Apparently it took a lot of time and effort before a woman came. To her senses.
And that’s why men with penises came up with a way to lighten the doctor’s load.

Although the first vibrator dates back to the 1730’s, it wasn’t until 1869 when the first ‘steam driven vibrator’ was introduced. It was called a ‘Manipulator’.
I live in the present. I do not have vagina. I am a beaver. I lack the anatomy to masturbate. Therefore I simply can’t imagine what the Manipulator Experience must have been like for a human woman of the time. I do know male doctors felt relief in their hands and wrists.

I’m not sure if Queen Victoria herself ever suffered from hysteria. If she did, it’s good to know she could let off some steam from time to time.

One could argue this is a picture of a big manipulator.

One could argue this is a picture of a big manipulator, one way or the other.

After a while vibrators became quite common. Eventually people realized they had been manipulated into masturbating. Vibrators’ popularity dwindled.

Pictured: Vibrator ad from 1913.

Pictured: Vibrator ad from 1913.

That is until the 1970’s, when vibrators reappeared. This time they were sold in sex shops. Thanks to the hard work of people like Sir Thomas Browne, Robert Boyle, Benjamin Franklin and many others, these vibrators ran on electricity. Not steam.

Pictured: BF, electricity's BFF.

Pictured: BF, electricity’s BFF.

I guess it’s kind of funny, unless of course it’s not true.

Sadly though, it is.

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