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A few days ago, I wrote a post in which I said the Republican National Committee (RNC) consists of racists. I won’t lie. It felt good saying that. Being an illegal alien myself, it’s hard not to be liberally biased.

But I am biased. Just because I traveled 310 light years to get here doesn’t mean I know any more than you humans do. Sure, my species overcame problems like racism, climate change or awkward silences generations ago.

On my home planet of Burkina Faso, we actually have the technology to prevent stuff like this from being awkward.

On my home planet of Burkina Faso, we actually have the technology to prevent stuff like this from being awkward.

Still, when it comes to observing reality I get just as confused as reality itself. I’m kinda human that way.

In response to the bitch slap I gave the RNC, I received a comment from fellow blogger Halftangible. He informed me liberals are racists too. I dared him: I offered to write a post about liberal racism if he could give me a few examples to work with. Much to my liberally biased despair, he gave me more than a few.

Darn.

Damn you, Google!

Damn you, Google!

Apparently, Vice President Joe Biden once said ‘you can’t go into a Dunkin’ Donuts without an Indian accent’. Hillary Clinton said ‘Mahatma Ghandi ran a gas station in St. Louis’. Those are just a few examples.

Ouch.

Of course these quotes were taken out of context, but the same might be argued for conservative racism. No politician wants to come off as racist. When they do, they resort to damage control.

So are liberals just as racist as conservatives?

Probably. If anything, conservatives are more honest about it, because they’re bastards stupid good people that need to get rid of their Pat Boone albums. Sorry, my liberally biased tongue slipped.

But if liberals and conservatives are both racist, that pretty much covers the entire political spectrum, right?

Whatever.

Whatever.

I guess racism is part of human nature somehow. Now I’m not talking about old fashioned racism. Most people these days agree Neo Nazis and KKK members are as useless as a horse whisperer in a slaughterhouse.

I think racism has taken on a much subtler form. That may make it appear less harmful, but it’s also more difficult to expunge it. Perhaps present day racism is like an HIV infection, slowly eating away defenses for a number of years only to strike you down with a simple cold. Perhaps you humans don’t know it’s there, because you don’t get tested enough.

Does the RNC want bad things for black people? My guess is no. Does Joe Biden have anything against Dunkin’ Donuts? Maybe, but I doubt he’s pissed at the Indian guy that works there (or girl, in case you think my sexism has me believing one needs a penis to sell donuts).

My guess is present day racism is not a matter of hate. It’s become a matter of ambivalence. That’s why the RNC thanks Rosa Parks for ending racism. That’s why Bill Clinton quipped Obama would have been serving coffee not too long ago. Humans say these things because they simply don’t know what it’s like to be black. Perhaps you don’t know what it’s like to be a minority other than your own. Perhaps it’s in your nature not to care about misery unless it’s your own. Maybe that’s not even possible.

I’m sure Joe Biden supports Rosa Parks’ legacy. But does he really care? I mean, the guy probably hasn’t seen the inside of a bus since 1977! He and other politicians may embrace the causes of other people, but they can’t embrace their struggle.

So there you have it. There’s a bit of racist in each and every one of you.

So does that mean black people are racist too? You bet your human skin colored ass they are! After escaping from Area 51 back in 2008, I spent a few years in a multicultured Caribbean country. Lots of black people. And Latin American people. And Asian people. And Indian people. Let me tell you, they know how to discriminate!

Black people are extroverted and dominant. Latin Americans are promiscuous. Asians are passive aggressive. Indians are frugal and greedy. Those are not my opinions. Those are just some of the stereotypes that exist.

I guess humans have a need for an identity. Your identity is partly defined by the relationship you have with other people. In some cases this means other groups of people.

The bad news is humans will likely discriminate each other forever. No matter how liberal you are, stereotypes are more often than not a factor in forming your opinion on others. The good news is you simply have to embrace your inner racist. People with HIV tend to live longer when they know about it. Likewise, maybe it’s time humans accept racism/discrimination for what it is. That way you can fight it.

Of course, I’m just an alien from outer space. I’m neither white nor black. I’m grey. To me all humans are kinda weird.

I’m starting to like it.

Enjoy your journey, but beware of Dunkin’ Donuts, for them greedy Indians charge you for the holes in their donuts!

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